if you've ever walked down the middle lane of the highway on 95 in a blizzard, your probably my friend..

So i assembled a cast of  Bostons biggest dirtbags (quinlin, dude guy, brendan, jay and myself) to go to see e-town in jersey.. we get to jays house and drink some booze haha jay pulls out some "DR. PAPPAS" stickers, so we can bring beer and cover the label so it says "dr. pappas" and looks like a can of dr. pepper hahaha (i was driving and being responsible so i didnt have any fake dr. pepper) ... we start driving and its snowing like fucking crazy.. of course we decide to go on vacation during a blizzard, we pull over in Connecticut and Brendan spends 10 minutes fucking puking everywhere hahaha, at this point the roads are really fucking awful and we're considering getting a hotel.. we (I) decide to keep on driving.. we start passing tons of cars broken down and stopped on the higway bcuz of the snow.. we eventually start coming up on a giant hill thats part of the highway. there are a trail of cars pulled over at the bottom of the hill because they couldnt make it up it in the snow.. i gun it and of course we dont make it up the hill either everyone gets out (except for jay whos wasted and sitting in the back seat texting haha) and they start to push my car up the hill.. as they're pushing up the hill cars are sliding down the hill at us hahaaha there are cars sliding at us and cars stuck everywhere , we somehow get up the hill but i cant slow down bcuz i'll be stuck in the snow, so everyone is running and diving in the car while i'm driving, its complete chaos, dude guy dives in head first likes superman and almost falls out of the car and gets ran over bcuz jay didnt move cuz he was busy texting hahahahaha,  we made it past the hill and we're all laughing about it and saying how insane it was, just as we finish talking about it we see another hill ahead thats atleast 5 times the size of the firt one. hahaha same shit cars broken down everywhere, cars sliding backwards down the hill in the snow,,, someone says "pull over" but sitting on the side of the highway for 12 hours waiting for the blizzard to calm down sounds like an awful idea, so i gun it up the hill and yessss, once again we dont make it.. this time everyone gets out,  jay and quinlin decide to take a piss, so brendan and dude guy are pushing my car up this giant hill while jay and quinlin are pissing in the middle of the highway during a blizzard with cars sliding down at them hahaa complete fucking insanity they all eventually start pushing the car, and we were the ONLY car that made it up the hill.. (we still hadnt even made it out of connecticut yet) It was all out fucking chaos....so we continue to drive through a crazy blizzard but the further we get the better the weather gets, we finally out drive the blizzard and get to new jersey, where its not snowing at all!! we get to the hotel and brendan says "fuck you guys" and goes to sleep. the rest of us were ready to RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGE!!! WE'RE in a shitty little town in jersey so we find this nice kind of upscale bar and they fucking despise us, after 1200 shots and a million drinks we make it back to the hotel and try to get brendan up, he wants nothing to do with us drunken assholes, so we party in the hotel for a little while and break a bunch of shit, we talk to some dude at the hotel and he tells us about a strip club thats open til 5 a.m.. PERFECT!!! jay does some weird dance and pukes in the middle of it and then we get into a cab, we bring a case of beer in the cab and have some fucked up conversations with the driver.. at this point we're all hammered and sloppy as fuck.. the cab driver pulls up at the strip club, dude guy falls out of the cab and lands on the ground, quinlin jumps out and drops the case of beer and beer goes all over the parking lot, jay and I both stumble out of the cab, we walk up to the door of the strip club and the guy says "NO FUCKING WAY ARE YOU GUYS COMING IN HERE" we see the cab driver pulling away and wave him back to pick us up and bring us back to the hotel haha we get to the hotel and buy a bunch of food and go back to the room, we partied for a while and shit got crazy, i remember trying to stick the t.v. in the microwave at one point hahaha, dont remember going to sleep but i woke up to Brendan swearing about some Somolian family that was at the continental breakfast hahahahahhaahha, i go over to the other room where dude guy, jay and quinlin are staying and when they open the door its just a complete fucking disaster the smell was fucking terrrrrrrrrible, there was food everywhere coffee and beer all over the place, broken shit, the place was fucking trasssshed, i cant even describe how bad it looked.. jay woke up with a cup of soup all over his head and pillow hahaha, so we get ready and leave, i was the last one to leave and there was some dude coming out of their room and he looks at the other hotel worker and says "whatttt the fuckkk, it looks like motley crue and guns n roses had a hotel party that ended in a knife fight" hahahah  I dont think i could have summed it up any better myself. (the room was on dude guys credit card by the way hahahahaa) so the e-town show was that night, but we had nowhere to go... we did a little research and found an irish bar not too far from the club.. we got there at about 10:30 a.m. and immediately started doing car bombs, and shots... we all ordered drinks and jay says "i cant do this, i'm a pussy" ..... then he says "make me a girlie drink" so the waitress Trish who was really fucking cool starts making jay all of these girlie drinks like "oreo cookies" and shit.. after about 14 of those he goes outside and pukes hahaha, we just stay there all day and fucking POUND drinks, (most of our drinks ended up being free) trish got my phone number before we left and came to boston, she wanted me to go see dropkick murphys with her but i chose to go to sheer terror in quincy instead, she got pissed and never talked to me again  hahahaha we left her bar at about 8:30 to go to the show, when we left that irish bar, the blizzard had arrived in jersey so it was snowing like crazy now, we stopped at another bar on the way to the show and had a few more drinks there, we eventually made it to the show (i have no idea how)we make it inside and there was a table with about 30 peoples drinks on it.. dude guy tries to sit down and knocks over EVERY single drink on the table hahaha 30 people pissed at him.. ton more drinks, we meet up with some friends from Baltimore, and start doing some more shots hahaha, dude guy falls down a couple flights of stairs, and some other random chaos. I met some girl at the show and was chilling with her until somehow Quinlin and Brendan start trying to fight each other, we try to calm it down but it doesnt work and they both dissapear hahaha, hatebreed played and were fucking awful.. (definitely not 1997 at the met hahaa) e-town straight killed it by the way, and the last time i had seen them before that night was probably 10 years prior to that.. e-town is still one of my favorite bands and it was awesome to see them with some of my boys from Boston and Baltimore! I go outside after the show and there are brendan and quinlin and brendans trying to fight some random kid haha, we get everyone in the car and things finally seem ok. i start the car and immediately slam into the parked car behind me..guess i put it in reverse instead of drive hah. FUCKKKKK  there was no damage so i get out and say sorry, and of course the idiot behind me gives me an attitude so i think i tried to fight him hahaha, we left and as we left the cops were going over to talk to them, i took off haha, we drive back to the hotel and start partying, brendan and quinlin both go to dennys, they come back bcuz brendan was slamming his head off of the table and screaming hahaa me and dude guy go to ihop and some stupid shit goes down in there, he was yelling and throwing water at people haha some old guy left without paying and the waitress asked us if we took the money, so of course we flipped out and started yelling at her, she called the cops and we left. we somehow made it back to the hotel room and went to sleep. the ride home the next day fucking sucked.. brendan was puking out the window...... we're on the highway somehwere in connecticut and quinlin farted.. immediately brendan started puking again, dude guy follows him, i pull off of the highway and we skid into the parking lot, the doors open and 4 of us start puking everywhere at the same time.. i finish puking and look up and theres some old black dude starting at us completely fucking horrified watching all of us puke and laugh at the same time.. we laughed the entire way home.. our trip couldnt have possibly ended on a better note.. last weekend Jay and I went to Baltimore and we stopped at that same rest stop just by coincidence. i can never stop there and not laugh... cant wait for e-town next year hahahaha

updatessss

alright, so a BUNCH of people have been on me about updating this blog.. apparently tons of people like it hahaha, ive gotten alot of requests and will do my best to update it asap. the next story i think will be my trip last year to jersey to see e-town concrete.... be prepared for an AMAZING! story! also soon to be updated will be my trip to baltimore and atlantic city..(you are NOT ready for this one))..     another update may be one of the betrayed by all mini tours...

LETS PUSH THAT BITCHES CAR INTO A LAKE (another requested story)

so before i start,  some things will be left out and ive decided not to mention peoples names to protect the guilty... I believe it was 2001... I went to the casino in ct. and won 5 grand the night before I went out a small tour with a certain hardcore band from boston.... it was one of their first out of state trips.. I think there were 9 of us who went... my memory is not great at all, so i'm sure i'm leaving a bunch of stuff out.. we all squeeze into a van and head towards chicago..we left late at night and basically just drank and partied for hours until we stopped and destroyed a hotel room for the night.. some of us were pissing in empty beer bottles in the van on the ride so we would save time and didnt have to stop.. some of us were extremely drunk and missed the bottles and to top it off, we left the bottles in the back full of piss and forgot about them, first thing in the morning we get in the van and it smells fucking horrrid, we take a left and about 6 full bottles of piss spill everywhere,, i cant describe the smell.. and a few people were already puking before we even got in the van from drinking waaay to much the night before...  after terrorizing people at a few different rest stops.. we made a stop at a walmart somewhere close to Indiana.. a couple of us steal the fat lady electric wheelchairs and race down the aisle, I turn it into bumper cars and crash into a friend and he slams into a giant display of shit in the middle of an aisle knocking the display over and sending things crashing and bouncing all around the store...   I found a dodgeball and decided that it was time to play. so we start chucking dodgeballs at each other.. i do my best roger clemens impression and throw the ball as hard as i can at one of my friends.. he ducks and the ball hits some old asian dude directly in the face... i of course tell him that he "sucks at dodgeball and i'm not picking him for my team" we eventually leave and drive through indiana. If you've never been to Gary, Indiana (the home of michael jackson) your fucking missing out!!  after a few really fat strippers try to get into our van and try to convince us to go the shadiest strip clubs in the u.s. we make a break for it ((((ive been to Gary, IN. a few other times and they're all great stories.. my boy jay being forced to buy coloring books from some crazy bum was definitely a highlight))))) anyways, I think dbd played a show somewhere in Indiana that night, i honestly dont remember. hahaha we go to some crazy casino boat that i believe was in michigan city, IN. (could be wrong)  after eating only mcdonalds for a day or two.. one of my boys decides to go to the all you can eat buffet, i think he paid like 45 bucks... the only thing on the menu he liked was mashed potatoes hhahaha it was all seafood and he didnt like seafood so he was eating 45 dollar mashed potatoes, i guess he tried to get his money back and got into a fight with security.. i had drunkenly stumbled into the high roller part of the casino and somehow managed to be winning a decent amount of money ,when 3 of my drunk friends got us ejected from the casino ahahha...  we went and ate somewhere and asked EVERYONE what there was to do,, basically the only thing around was some weird dance/night club and the casino.. since we were already booted from the casino, we decided we were gonna go to the local nightclub... first we found a hotel and drank there for a while.. we eventually made it to this weird redneck stupid fucking dance club. we were completely out of place and obviously didnt fit in.. drinking and chaos continued in the club and we basically tried to fight everyone but no one was dumb enough to fight all 9 of us.. we had all been talking with/chillin with girls throughout the night... we lost one of my friends and we were all looking for him eventually we seen him and he said he'd meet us at the van. so he comes in the van and is like "take off quick" we're all drinking and pissing in random spots.. so we couldnt exactly exit quickly.. some white trash kelly bundy/kathie griffin infused whore stenching of booze and sluttiness comes running over and hops in the van and sits right next to me, grabs my dick and says "how far is the hotel?, my friends going to follow us in her car" so we had 2 seperate hotel rooms cuz 9 dudes in one room is waaay too much especially when the singer of a certain band snores and it sounds like a warthog fucking a pterodactyl..(on a different trip we locked him out of the room and made him sleep in the hallway bcuz he snores so bad, we also made him sleep in a closet another time) anyyways,,we all go into one room and it becomes quite obvious that the 2 girls want to get gang-banged by all of us.  everyone is down except for 3 of us hahaha. so 3 of us exit the room and of course one of the girls looks at me pulls out her tit and says "please dont go" hahaha we go to the other room laughing.. we walk back over and look in the window and start making cow noises "moooooooooooooo".. one of my friends had apparently stolen the girls keys before exiting the room.. he says come on... so before i know it hes going through her car stealing cds and money she has in her console.. he puts his hand in compartment in the back of the seat and starts swearing.. he had stuck his hand directly into a dirty diaper.. apparently this fucking diseased catchers mitt thought it was a good idea to keep a dirty diaper in her car... my friend is wasted and now pissed.. her car was parked very close to the lake behind the hotel.. he says "lets push this bitches car into the lake" i of course tell him that "hes a genius and has amazing ideas" but i tell him that if we start the car shes gonna know because theres no else at the hotel and she'll hear her car starting. so he puts it in nuetral i think, i dont really remember what the fuck he did but we got the car to move and started pushing it towards the lake.. the car is moving towards the lake and the girl comes running out of the room screaming  "your crazy fucking friend put a knife to my neck" then she sees and us and says "what the fuckkk are you doing with my car?""" they leave and i guess after they got gang banged by all of them one of my friends pulled a knife on her...... fortunately someone was smart enough to videotape the whole thing and we watched the video the whole way to the show laughing over and over again... but then my friend destroyed the tape because he had a girlfriend and was on video gang banging some slut... we made it to the show and had only slept for like a 1/2 hour and some people were puking the whole way there and the stench of piss in the van definitely didnt help.... we get to the show and it was really a great show. tons of amazing bands, and this was my first time in that section of chicago. I remember there really werent alot of kids dancing except for me dancing like an asshole(obviously) .. i think 25 ta life was playing and there was some fucking flaming guy in short shorts and sandals prancing and parading around the show trying to hug people.. leave it to me to be the dickhead.. and I seen him and started dancing towards him, I only hit him once and with my left hand but he fucking died. hahaha he got knocked the fuck out.. someone grabbed his legs and carried him into the corner after like 30 minutes he had still not woken up and i was kinda  scared.. i guess an ambulance showed up for him..... oooops, my bad.. there were definitely a few people pissed off and i'm surprised that no one tried to fight me over it... luckily my friend knew people in chicago and they put us up with a free hotel room at like the 4 seasons. it was awesome,, some people went to a party with some of the chicago kids but me and a friend decided to stay at the hotel and ended up getting into a fight at the dennys across the street (going to a party and throwing beer bottles at trains all night was probably a bettter option) the next night we're on our way home and one of my friends was laughing saying that he got the whore from michigan city Indiana's phone number.. i came up with a brilliant plan and called her.. explaining that i was too shy to fuck her in front of my friends but was still at the same hotel and wanted to see her.. she informed me that she lived almost 2 hours away from the hotel and was scared that my friend was going to pull a knife on her again.... i assured her that he was just drunk the night before and i had my own hotel room and it would just be her and I and that i really wanted to see her.... she finally agreed to see me..... we continued to drive home and about 3 hours later i got a call from her saying she was at the hotel and wanted to know where i was .. i of course replied "halfway back to boston you fucking dirty whore" and hung up on her..we laughed the entire way home... every once in a while a friend will just say "michigan city, indiana" and i'll laugh..

we need more fucking tape.....(a requested story)

so this was a REQUESTED story.. i'm definitely taking requests, so if you know of a dumb story that i should tell.. hit me up... ((((note the new text font.. also a request)))) anyways,, after seeing some bands in Brockton... you'll be suprised to hear that i was wicked fucking drunk and dont remember what bands played.. Me, Jay, and Bill decided it was a good idea to go to party in bridgewater... now that i think of it,,, this is the only party that the 3 of us have ever gone to together (probably a good thing).... so after some crazy shit, we arrive at the party.. theres a ton of people in the house and after 2 seconds of being there i go into the bathroom to piss, while i'm in there some girl walks in and is standing there watching me piss and asks if i can hurry up, then bill bursts into the bathroom and tells the girl ""i heard frank has a big dick" he then proceeds to piss all over the clothes in the hamper, and all over the walls.. he then exits the bathroom and the girl starts trying to piss in the sink..her and I are having a conversation for a minute while shes pissing in the sink.. she asks me if i want to go into the bedroom with her,, i say "absolutely" haha, so we walk out of the bathroom and when i walked out.. it was like walking into the double duece from road house.  fights everywhere, I look over and Jay has some giant dude up against the fridge and had just pulled his shirt over his head Paul Coffey style, so i hit him a few times until someone tackled me up against a counter fortunately for me there were like 10 beer bottles lined up on the counter  and jay and i started bottling kids like it was a carnival game.. Bill was in the living room fighting some other kids the 3 of us basically fought an entire party of kids.. eventually i threw some fat idiot threw the front door and down a flight of stairs and the 3 of us piled outside and smashed some more kids,, we heard the cops coming so Jay and I jumped in his car.. (bill left in another car) as Jay and I were driving down the street  a caravan of cops drove by us heading towards the party.. we looked over our wounds.. jay had a quality black eye and my hand was broke in like 100 spots haha fingers were dislocated and pointing the wrong way and shit.. I get home and slowly sneak into my house, I think i'm being quiet.. but because i'm wasted I probably sounded like 2 rhinoceros fighting in an antique shop.. I figure if i tape my fingers all together they heal properly over night. hahaa, my ex who i was living with at the time was sleeping but apparently woke up even though i was trying to be quiet haha she asks "what are you taping?!" and i'm like "nothing, go back to sleep".. she gets up and sees my fingers pointing in 5 different directions like i'm trying to flash gang signs and tell a deaf lady that theres a cat stuck in a tree.... she of course yells at me "are you taping your fucking fingers?!?!!"  to which i replied "go the fuck back to sleep... ohhh and we need more fucking tape"" needless to say i woke up with broken fingers and a giant glob of tape stuck to the side of my face..... fast forward a little bit and there was a write up about the fight in the newspaper described as a "horrific scene, with blood all over the walls and ceilings" and of course the police were looking for us.. unfortunately they found bill hahaha(((sorry billl, thanks for not ratting on us though))) for a while Bill had the write up from the newspaper in his wallet bcuz it was so ridiculous, unfortunately i think he lost it, or i would have for sure posted it with this blog entry.. i found out months maybe even years later that the fight started because bill was fucked up and kept grabbing some dudes girlfreinds ass hahaha. i was blacked out drunk and thats all i remember,, i do remember jay and i contemplating on meeting up with some friends after the party who were chilling at the outlaws clubhouse.. I think we made the right decision to call it a night hahahaha

from japan to beantownnnn cease 2 exist reprezent

so my friend justin from p.a. just reminded me of a funny story.. some of my best friends were in a band called Cease 2 exist... heres a couple of quick funny c2e stories.. i used to have a lot of cookouts at my old place in quincy, yo-hei came and drank some of my infamous cookoo juice.. he drank 2 cups fell down and said "your koo juice killled me, you asshole, now i'm going to die" ...... I booked cease 2 exist yeeeeears ago on a show in mass. it was like 5 degrees out and snowing like crazy but was still a great show,,, they played and were great after their set no one could find jay for like 45 minutes, so me and my friend dietz went outside and there was jay completely passed out in a snowbank we tried to wake him up and his only response was ""leave me here to die""........... c2e played a show at castle heights in queens, jay had broken his leg in an all out fucking crazzzzzzzzy fight that a bunch of us got into at a show a few days before and was on crutches.. this didnt stop him from singing (or getting blacked out drunk haha) c2e absolutely fucking killled it great show, i was punched in the head 2 seconds into their set and didnt recover til after the show haha, so we're leaving the show and jay's blacked out drunk ass starts a fight with a gang of like 12 dudes who were chillin' on the street in queens hahaha me, and jay on crutches vs. 12 dudes, we somehow got away... then,, on the ride home some thugs in a car tried to drive us off the road numerous times on the highway.....  another show they played was at a church in western mass. when i arrived i could hear them playing from the parking lot,,, i ran in the door, punched a priest in the face, smashed out a window and then starting hitting kids with a chair.. god-dammmmit, i miss that band. haha,  i went to north carolina with them and death before dishonor and we all got wicked drunk, i have a video of  me and frankie stealing take from c2e's bass at like 3 in the morning and taping gay porn all over it, the entire time i'm daring frankie to take a shit in the hotel pool.. take opens his bass case at the show and says ""who da fuckk did this!?!" is his best angry half english voice hahaha. on that same tape are some INFAMOUS toss a fish crew videos... stayed tuned for some more stories which i'm sure will include, jay, dbd (some insaaane stories), and the one and only T.A.F.C.

my introduction and departure from montreal

So for those of you who dont know..  I was kicked out of canada and banned for 10 years..first off, i'd like to say that i was a VERY different person back then, and i'm not particularly proud of some of the things i've done.. anyways,, heres the story... .ok, so i'm gonna start by saying that my memory isnt the greatest...im not sure but i believe it was 1997 (i was still in highschool) when a friend told me that he was organizing a trip to Montreal for new years eve and asked if i wanted to go..... my reply was of course "fuck yeahhh" so he set up the details and i believe there were roughly 50-75 of us going.... the trip included a bus to and from montreal, hotel rooms and some tickets to get into the best nightclubs for new years eve... fast forward to being on the bus.. the bus was full and we were all fucking ready to go, i got on the bus and one of my friends had already drawn the slapshot skull (side note* i fucking hate slapshot)and written the word "maldito" on one of the windows with a sharpie.. we made it to new hampshire and one of the kids with us was 21 so he got off at the rest stop and came back with about 12 cases of beer and maybe 20 bottles of alcohol, the bus driver was pissed and wanted him to put the liquor underneath the bus where the luggage goes, fortunately for us he bought so much alcohol that it didnt all fit.. after arguing with the bus driver for a while.. he allowed us to bring the booze on the bus, so the rest of the bus ride was us pounding booze and throwing beer cans at passing cars on the highway.. a few people were passed out long before we made it to the border.. the bus driver announces "we'll be at the border in a minute" people start scrambling and going into the bathroom to hide drugs and whatever else they didnt want found at the border,,, we get to the border and they basically have all of our id's passed to the front and they let us go through without checking anything (this was obviously pre-911) as we pull into canada everyone gets excited and we all know  its """RAGE TIME"".. we get to our hotel rooms and there are 4 people to a room,, immediately t.v.'s are thrown out the window,, lamps are smashed etc.. shit got out of hand quickly. I decide to leave the hotel with a few friends we go outside and its fucking collllllllld, the coldest weather i've ever experienced. so cold that your fucking boogers would freeze inside your nose.. we hit up a few bars and found a bartender from boston who had his own specialty shots that he called "the devils mountain dew" we had about 45 of those each and continued on.. we ended up at a strip club and some straight debauchery went down in there.. until a friend did something he shouldnt have to one of the strippers,,, the bouncers threw my friend down a flight of strairs (a giant flight of strairs and he got FUCKKED up) so after we beat the ever living shit out of 3 giant bouncers we decided it was time to go somewhere else.. we hopped in a cab and one of my friends asked the cab driver about buying drugs, so he brought us to some shady spot with hookers and drug dealers,, my friend bought some drugs and we left.. we went back to the hotel... we got onto the elevator and there was blood and food all over the elevator (i forgot to mention that we were staying at a VERY nice hotel) so we get off the elevator on our floor and its realllly dark, we had though that the power was out but then realized that all of the lights on our floor had been broken and smashed out, our entire floor was like a fucking warzone broken glass everywhere, food all over the walls and ceilings, someone had sprayed a fire extinguisher everywhere, there was mattresses ripped out of rooms and placed at the end of the hallway..(i'll return to mattresses in the hallway later)   i get to my room and one of my friends had just headbutted the giant mirror in our room and there was glass and blood everywhere, we tried to calm him down but instead he decided to smash the toilet bowl with his head .. head first dive right into the toilet bowl the thing fucking cracked in 1/2.(he later tried to glue it together using toothpaste))) we decided to leave our room and went into our friends room and interrupted him having sex with some girl... at this point we grabbed our passes to the nightclub and met up with some people in the hotel bar iin the lobby. we drank there for a while and decided it was time to hit up the nightclub. we got to the entrance and there was a giant line, but bcuz we had v.i.p. passes we got to go right in, at the front of the line they searched us and my friend was screaming at the top of his lung "they're going to find my drugs" hahaha we get into the club, theres maybe like 20 of us.. i start dancing with some really hot girl.... of course i'm interrupted by 2 of my friends trying to fight each other, it gets broken up.. i go to the bathroom and its like fucking columbia in there, drugs everywhere,,, so i piss and come back to the dance floor to find like 5 of my friends all fighting each other.. the bouncers step in and we start smashing them , there were probably about 20 bouncers and 20 of us, it was a giant fucking mess of a fight, people were running out the door to get away..the last thing i remember is smashing some bouncer with a chair over and over and over until a friend pulled me off of him and informed me that we had to leave immediately (this was looooong before i was give the nickname "chairs") so at this point my memories kinda foggy 2000 drinks will do that to you.. at some point we make it back to the hotel bar and apparently i got kicked out of the bar for reaching over the bar and taking a bottle of whiskey and pounding it like a blue raspberry teenie... i was talking to 2 girls at the bar and I went to there room for a while (i'll spare you the details haha) i then try to get on the elevator and its broken.. i go to the stairs and theres a friend with his mattress and  i pushed him down the stairs on his mattress (kind of like surfing for retards) im next in line, so i get on a mattress and few kids push me down the stairs, just as i'm coming to the end of the stairs some guy appears and i completely take him out, he was legit hurt and yelling "did you just come down the stairs on a fucking mattresss??!!?!" i make my way back to the hotel bar and theres a bunch of yelling and fights.. once again my memory is a little blurry but a friend told me that i was picking her up and swinging her over my head in the middle of the bar... apparently that was broken up by a giant fight that ended with someone being thrown through the giant front glass window of the hotel bar. we bounced as we knew the cops would be there soon... i'm not sure where we went or what we did as i was completely blacked out by this point. i do however remember coming back to the hotel and seeing someone i sorta knew passed out in the elevator and i pushed the button to go up and the door closed on his head and then opened and then closed on his head and then opened. i remember an older lady standing there HORRRIFIED.. i think i may have gone out again after that, and have no idea what i did or where i went.. my next memory is turning the hotel light on and seeing my friend getting a blowjob from some nasty girl ahahha i shut the light off and passed out in a chair.. i remember waking up and puking everywhere, it was a fucking puke fountain that legit sprayed all over the ceiling, a friend was watching this happen... i passed out again at that point.. i wake up and my friend is taking a shit with the door open and the entire time hes just sitting in my puke that was all over the toilet..the next thing i know theres a giant bang on the door and someone bursts in explaining that we are being deported from the country and have 10 minutes to get on the bus or we will either be arrested or stranded in montreal... we make our way down stairs and a few of us buy drinks at the hotel bar.. i get on the bus and its like a fucking horror movie. everyones puking and completely covered in black eyes and bleeding from everywhere, there are a few people in the back of the bus with crusted dried up blood all over their faces from doing drugs all night... a few friends didnt come back to the hotel and ended up being stranded in montreal... our 5 night 6 day trip lasted ONE fucking day and we were kicked out of the country.(stupid fucking americans). they had our id's at the border and we were all told that we were banned for 10 years.. we were police escorted back to the quincy courthouse.. everyone started single filing out of the bus.. until a friend and I kicked the back door of the bus open and we ran down the street splitting directions and getting way ... i found a pay phone and called my mom .. ME::"in in quincy center come pick me up ""   MY MOM ::::"what happened to canada?"   MEE::" iwas kicked out"" MY MOM ::"of the COUNTRY!?!" ME:::::"just come get me"   ... my mom picked me up and i was completely covered in puke.. it was at that second that i realized that i had not eaten the entire time i was in canada. I remember to this day taking a shower at my moms house feeling worse than i've ever felt in my life.. trying to figure out how i made it back alive.... i told my mom i was sick because the pizza in montreal is made with goat cheese instead of mozzarella HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAA im sure theres more that happened but this is what my memory currently remembers... so the 10 year ban was lifted and YES, I did make a triumphant return to canada,, and yes, i DID get revenge on their country.... i'm sure that story will be added at some point

so i've jumped on the fucking bandwagon and decided to do a blog.. the main reason for this blog is to share stories from my past that most of you probably dont know.. stories from my past pop into my mind on a daily basis and most of them are ridiculously funny,,, i think its time to share some of those stories.. im sure i will post some serious stuff and also talk about some shit i like too.. if your looking for an in depth review of governmental policies or looking for the latest hipster bullshit you've come to the wrong place.. if stories of being kicked out of countries and running from the police sound like a good way to waste ten minutes.. then stick around..