my introduction and departure from montreal

So for those of you who dont know..  I was kicked out of canada and banned for 10 years..first off, i'd like to say that i was a VERY different person back then, and i'm not particularly proud of some of the things i've done.. anyways,, heres the story... .ok, so i'm gonna start by saying that my memory isnt the greatest...im not sure but i believe it was 1997 (i was still in highschool) when a friend told me that he was organizing a trip to Montreal for new years eve and asked if i wanted to go..... my reply was of course "fuck yeahhh" so he set up the details and i believe there were roughly 50-75 of us going.... the trip included a bus to and from montreal, hotel rooms and some tickets to get into the best nightclubs for new years eve... fast forward to being on the bus.. the bus was full and we were all fucking ready to go, i got on the bus and one of my friends had already drawn the slapshot skull (side note* i fucking hate slapshot)and written the word "maldito" on one of the windows with a sharpie.. we made it to new hampshire and one of the kids with us was 21 so he got off at the rest stop and came back with about 12 cases of beer and maybe 20 bottles of alcohol, the bus driver was pissed and wanted him to put the liquor underneath the bus where the luggage goes, fortunately for us he bought so much alcohol that it didnt all fit.. after arguing with the bus driver for a while.. he allowed us to bring the booze on the bus, so the rest of the bus ride was us pounding booze and throwing beer cans at passing cars on the highway.. a few people were passed out long before we made it to the border.. the bus driver announces "we'll be at the border in a minute" people start scrambling and going into the bathroom to hide drugs and whatever else they didnt want found at the border,,, we get to the border and they basically have all of our id's passed to the front and they let us go through without checking anything (this was obviously pre-911) as we pull into canada everyone gets excited and we all know  its """RAGE TIME"".. we get to our hotel rooms and there are 4 people to a room,, immediately t.v.'s are thrown out the window,, lamps are smashed etc.. shit got out of hand quickly. I decide to leave the hotel with a few friends we go outside and its fucking collllllllld, the coldest weather i've ever experienced. so cold that your fucking boogers would freeze inside your nose.. we hit up a few bars and found a bartender from boston who had his own specialty shots that he called "the devils mountain dew" we had about 45 of those each and continued on.. we ended up at a strip club and some straight debauchery went down in there.. until a friend did something he shouldnt have to one of the strippers,,, the bouncers threw my friend down a flight of strairs (a giant flight of strairs and he got FUCKKED up) so after we beat the ever living shit out of 3 giant bouncers we decided it was time to go somewhere else.. we hopped in a cab and one of my friends asked the cab driver about buying drugs, so he brought us to some shady spot with hookers and drug dealers,, my friend bought some drugs and we left.. we went back to the hotel... we got onto the elevator and there was blood and food all over the elevator (i forgot to mention that we were staying at a VERY nice hotel) so we get off the elevator on our floor and its realllly dark, we had though that the power was out but then realized that all of the lights on our floor had been broken and smashed out, our entire floor was like a fucking warzone broken glass everywhere, food all over the walls and ceilings, someone had sprayed a fire extinguisher everywhere, there was mattresses ripped out of rooms and placed at the end of the hallway..(i'll return to mattresses in the hallway later)   i get to my room and one of my friends had just headbutted the giant mirror in our room and there was glass and blood everywhere, we tried to calm him down but instead he decided to smash the toilet bowl with his head .. head first dive right into the toilet bowl the thing fucking cracked in 1/2.(he later tried to glue it together using toothpaste))) we decided to leave our room and went into our friends room and interrupted him having sex with some girl... at this point we grabbed our passes to the nightclub and met up with some people in the hotel bar iin the lobby. we drank there for a while and decided it was time to hit up the nightclub. we got to the entrance and there was a giant line, but bcuz we had v.i.p. passes we got to go right in, at the front of the line they searched us and my friend was screaming at the top of his lung "they're going to find my drugs" hahaha we get into the club, theres maybe like 20 of us.. i start dancing with some really hot girl.... of course i'm interrupted by 2 of my friends trying to fight each other, it gets broken up.. i go to the bathroom and its like fucking columbia in there, drugs everywhere,,, so i piss and come back to the dance floor to find like 5 of my friends all fighting each other.. the bouncers step in and we start smashing them , there were probably about 20 bouncers and 20 of us, it was a giant fucking mess of a fight, people were running out the door to get away..the last thing i remember is smashing some bouncer with a chair over and over and over until a friend pulled me off of him and informed me that we had to leave immediately (this was looooong before i was give the nickname "chairs") so at this point my memories kinda foggy 2000 drinks will do that to you.. at some point we make it back to the hotel bar and apparently i got kicked out of the bar for reaching over the bar and taking a bottle of whiskey and pounding it like a blue raspberry teenie... i was talking to 2 girls at the bar and I went to there room for a while (i'll spare you the details haha) i then try to get on the elevator and its broken.. i go to the stairs and theres a friend with his mattress and  i pushed him down the stairs on his mattress (kind of like surfing for retards) im next in line, so i get on a mattress and few kids push me down the stairs, just as i'm coming to the end of the stairs some guy appears and i completely take him out, he was legit hurt and yelling "did you just come down the stairs on a fucking mattresss??!!?!" i make my way back to the hotel bar and theres a bunch of yelling and fights.. once again my memory is a little blurry but a friend told me that i was picking her up and swinging her over my head in the middle of the bar... apparently that was broken up by a giant fight that ended with someone being thrown through the giant front glass window of the hotel bar. we bounced as we knew the cops would be there soon... i'm not sure where we went or what we did as i was completely blacked out by this point. i do however remember coming back to the hotel and seeing someone i sorta knew passed out in the elevator and i pushed the button to go up and the door closed on his head and then opened and then closed on his head and then opened. i remember an older lady standing there HORRRIFIED.. i think i may have gone out again after that, and have no idea what i did or where i went.. my next memory is turning the hotel light on and seeing my friend getting a blowjob from some nasty girl ahahha i shut the light off and passed out in a chair.. i remember waking up and puking everywhere, it was a fucking puke fountain that legit sprayed all over the ceiling, a friend was watching this happen... i passed out again at that point.. i wake up and my friend is taking a shit with the door open and the entire time hes just sitting in my puke that was all over the toilet..the next thing i know theres a giant bang on the door and someone bursts in explaining that we are being deported from the country and have 10 minutes to get on the bus or we will either be arrested or stranded in montreal... we make our way down stairs and a few of us buy drinks at the hotel bar.. i get on the bus and its like a fucking horror movie. everyones puking and completely covered in black eyes and bleeding from everywhere, there are a few people in the back of the bus with crusted dried up blood all over their faces from doing drugs all night... a few friends didnt come back to the hotel and ended up being stranded in montreal... our 5 night 6 day trip lasted ONE fucking day and we were kicked out of the country.(stupid fucking americans). they had our id's at the border and we were all told that we were banned for 10 years.. we were police escorted back to the quincy courthouse.. everyone started single filing out of the bus.. until a friend and I kicked the back door of the bus open and we ran down the street splitting directions and getting way ... i found a pay phone and called my mom .. ME::"in in quincy center come pick me up ""   MY MOM ::::"what happened to canada?"   MEE::" iwas kicked out"" MY MOM ::"of the COUNTRY!?!" ME:::::"just come get me"   ... my mom picked me up and i was completely covered in puke.. it was at that second that i realized that i had not eaten the entire time i was in canada. I remember to this day taking a shower at my moms house feeling worse than i've ever felt in my life.. trying to figure out how i made it back alive.... i told my mom i was sick because the pizza in montreal is made with goat cheese instead of mozzarella HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAA im sure theres more that happened but this is what my memory currently remembers... so the 10 year ban was lifted and YES, I did make a triumphant return to canada,, and yes, i DID get revenge on their country.... i'm sure that story will be added at some point